The Power of Pretend

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “fake it ’til you make it.”  I’ve always kind of hated that phrase, not because the idea is bad, but because it makes the process sound kind of dishonest.

The reality is that often the best way to change is to start pretending that you already have.  To pretend that you have confidence is to act with confidence.  To act with confidence over time is to create new habits of acting with confidence.  To create new habits of acting confident is to transform into a more confident person.

As much as this process starts with acting and pretending, it’s not at all “fake.”  It’s just that before doing a thing we have to imagine it, at least on some level.  Imagination is always the basis of every action and decision.  Imagining yourself as confident and then acting in the confident way you imagine will inevitably create more confidence.

This is true of any valuable trait you wish to assume.  If you want to be more compassionate, you start by imagining how your life will be different once you have achieved this goal.  How do you think differently with more compassion?  How do you act differently with more compassion?  How do you respond differently?

Plan it out and then start to act as if it’s already happened.  To pretend it, is to create it.

To really reinforce this, write  up a plan of how you’re becoming different with the new attitude you’re developing and re-read it every morning to refresh it and refocus the mind.  And then, in the evening, immediately before bed, make a journal of all the things that you have done that day as the new you with a new attitude.  Reinforce your positive changes with extra attention.  Allow yourself to forget about the habits of the old self, they don’t matter once you’ve decided to change.  Tell yourself this every time you slip back into old habits.  “It’s just an old habit.  But, that’s alright.  I’m making progress.  I’m changing.”  If you want the past to fade, you have to let it fade and treat it as insignificant.  Pretend it’s insignificant and it will become so to you.

How can you make your life better with the Power of Pretend?
Thank you for reading!
-Adam Coles-
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