I’ve been explaining procrastination to my 5 yr. old and I was telling him that there are things in life that look tasty and appealing, that are not. There are things that he wants that are like seeing a poisonous marshmallow, the marshmallow looks delicious; but, it will make you sick if you eat it.
We all struggle to some extent or another with this. There are things in life that can be very appealing. It can seem unfair that we can’t have the things we want; but, this is an illusion. Our sense of responsibility is more of a blessing to us than our desire for self-indulgence is. And, yet, paradoxically, even our sense of responsibility is a form of self-indulgence, is it not? It comes from the part of us that knows we must at times sacrifice pleasure in the moment for something more valuable to us in the long run. It’s still trying to get you something good. It’s trying to get you something that you want. It wouldn’t exist if you didn’t want something. The subconscious creates it automatically in response to some desire that you have.
It really is a blessing, is it not? It’s a blessing to have part of your mind which rejects choices which keep you stuck and keep you from your goals. It’s a blessing that there is part of you that gets annoyed with you when you’re making a mistake and will push you to stop making a mistake. Isn’t it childish to run from this part of you? Is running and fear of that stern, commanding part of you really an appropriate response? Or, is there a wiser response? What is the appropriate response to that part of you which is driving you to meet your goals?
There is part of you, is there not, that knows when you are procrastinating. There is part of you that knows when you are avoiding doing those things that take you forward and take you towards your goals. It’s easy to fall in the trap of not liking that part of you. That part of the mind tends to be very authoritative. It often feels like the voice of a stern father pushing you when you don’t necessarily want to be pushed. But, even that is an illusion. The inner voice of strength and authority and self-discipline is still part of you. The truth is that you want both things and you have a choice to make. The real question isn’t “why don’t I like myself?”; it’s “what don’t I like about what I’m doing?” What is it that you really want that your current behavior doesn’t support? How are those unpleasant feelings trying to help you? What blessings are they trying to bring in to your life? What habits are they there to help you break?
Do you choose to listen to the part of your mind that is responsible or not? Do you choose to look on that part of you with love, gratitude and appreciation, or not? You always have the choice to reject that part of you; but, in so doing, you get in your own way. Do you really want to get in your own way? Or would you rather go forward? Would you rather ephemeral pleasures like candy or watching TV or goofing off? Or, would you rather find the satisfaction of making your dreams come true?
What dreams is that part of you which is pushing you forward trying to make come true for you? How wonderful will you feel when you are able to reach your goals? How good does it feel to look on your own sense of responsibility with love, now, as you are recognizing just what a blessing it is to you? How grateful are you for that part of your own mind which drives you to make smart decisions? How happy are you that it is there? How wonderful is it that there is part of you that will fight against laziness and keep you from being stuck?
How much stronger are you than you have thought? How much is your inner strength able to come out, now, as you are recognizing more that the part of you which is unhappy with what you are doing is really more wise and loving to you than the conscious mind? Isn’t the part of you that wants you to do more with your life rooted in seeing your own value and wanting you to be happy? How have you been creating the sorrows you face by rejecting that part of you; and, how much better do you feel as you are recognizing the errors in your perception and accepting the love and wisdom of that part of you that knows how important it is to make sacrifices? How good does it feel to allow that part of your mind to come to the surface, now, and allow it to push you forward? How good does it feel to allow yourself to feel motivated, driven and focused? How good does it feel when you are recognizing that you don’t really want to fight to hold onto those behaviors which have been holding you back? Doesn’t it feel good, now, to just let the past behavior melt away as you are focusing on the feelings of strength, determination and focus that come when you allow your own sense of personal responsibility to surface?
How much is that part of you helping you, now? How motivated are you feeling? How grateful are you for your growing sense of motivation and determination as you are allowing that sense of personal responsibility to surface? How does it feel as the anxiety melts away and that part of you which is determined and responsible is surfacing, even more now? Have you been able to tune into that sense that this is happening, yet? Can you notice how much stronger your sense of personal responsibility and accountability is growing as you are reading this? Have you noticed, yet, how each question I ask brings it more to the surface and how the more you read here, the stronger it grows?
What are you able to accomplish, more easily now, as your sense of personal responsibility is growing stronger? What “marshmallows of doom” are you able to recognize, now? How is it that your growing sense of responsibility is allowing you to recognize those behaviors which don’t help you and bringing you the strength that you need to change, now? What is it within your mind that is changing, now? How good does it feel to know that you are able to connect with wisdom, courage and strength within now? How does it feel, now, as you are doing this?
What’s it like to connect, even more deeply now, with that part of you which has the power to free you from the problems that you created for yourself by ignoring your own sense of personal responsibility? What problems are melting away, now, as your sense of responsibility is growing even stronger, now, and becoming more and more integrated into your conscious mind? How good will you feel when you are able notice yourself easily and naturally making smarter decisions, now? How happy are you to know that you are changing easily in positive ways, now? How focused, driven and motivated are you feeling? What is it that you want to get started working on, now, which is able to take you forward in life? How much do those feelings grow when you are paying attention to them? How good does it feel to allow yourself to feel focused, motivated and energized as your own sense of personal responsibility is becoming even more integrated, now?
How much are you changing, now? How much more motivated and focused are you becoming? How much more energy are you able to access as your inner conflicts are melting away, now, and you are choosing to listen to that part of you which has been trying so valiantly for so long to take you towards your goals? How much more deeply integrated is your sense of responsibility becoming, now? How much energy will you notice in the days and weeks ahead as this process is continuing, now? How good does it feel to know that this is happening, easily, effortlessly and automatically, now? Just how much are you able to easily and effortlessly change for the better, now?
How is it that you are doing this, now? What is it within you that is making this happen? How is it that your subconscious mind is creating these changes for you? Have you noticed, yet, that this is happening? How good does it feel when you are noticing it? How good do you feel, now? How happy are you that there is something within which is clearing away the old emotions which held you back from your dreams and is allowing your own sense of personal responsibility to become even more integrated, now? How grateful are you feeling for that part of you which keeps you more focused on your goals, now?
What dreams are you making come true, now?
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